After a two-week hiatus, the Commas began the second half of the season with a tough loss to Sexy Coco, the team formerly known as Sexual Chocolate. I believe that's a Coming to America reference. Anyway, the game began with Oxford's zone defense bending but refusing to break at the goal line, allowing the offense to roar down the field for the first touchdown, a quick strike to Alex over the middle. Coco answered with one of the most amazing plays of the year, an endzone-to-enzone scamper by their lanky superstar player that faked out the entire Commas defense, including those people standing on the sidelines. Sexy Coco put up another touchdown following an Oxford interception, but the Commas put together another drive that ended with a TD for Brian. With the score 13-12, Oxford went for a two-point conversion and got it when Daniel muscled his way past two defenders for the catch (the video doesn't do it justice). After the defense came through with a goal-line intereception Oxford tried for another score on a trick play, but it didn't work.
Perhaps it was their annoying war chant, but Sexy Coco was able to take the lead with some quick touchdowns to start the half. Oxford tried to play catch up, thanks to a tough TD catch by Matt (again, the video doesn't do it justice). After the defense gave the team another chance, the Commas had the ball with about two minutes left, down 33-20. But they were out of time, and the last pass of the game was intercepted by Sexy Coco's freak-of-nature player. Only the smooth taste of Shock Top could soothe the pain.
Special thanks to Tanya for capturing the highlights.
Daniel hangs on.
Dayne to Brian:
Alex puts the Commas in the lead.
The conversion attempt to Matt fails.
A deep pass...doesn't quite make it.
QB sneak.
A close play at the goal line:
A touchdown for Brian.
The Commas take the lead on a two-pointer to Daniel, who boxes out two people for the one-handed grab.
Another sneak.
Alex pulls one in.
Deep pass, take two. Nada.
It's hard to catch a ball when you're getting humped.
Dayne catches and runs.
Iain over the middle.
Brian gets tangled up.
Iain high-stepping.
Matt hangs on for the score.
"Watch Superman!"
Alex, looking good in jeans.
Brian, still wearing the Superman hat he stole from a nine year old.
Another clutch reception for Alex.
The Commas come up empty on the goal line.
Matt gets some love.
On the last drive, the Commas stay alive with a first down reception.
Not to be.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Commas Wring Out the ShamWows
For those of you who don't know, this is a ShamWow. It can also be seen here.
The Commas faced a spirited team thrown together by the whims of the Zog Gods. For once, Oxford was the experienced unit, driving downfield with early scores by Matt and Brian (actually, he had two by halftime, three total, along with a conversion). There was a brief scare when the ShamWows returned an interception to make the game 12-6. But the Commas new zone defense, installed by Daniel, held the ShamWows to zero points. They even managed to get a touchdown themselves when Daniel picked off a short pass and ran it in. The offense was able to take its time, scoring multiple TDs to give the team a nice, comfortable lead. As the highlights below demonstrate, everyone pitched in on both sides of the ball. I would call this "classic Commas football" if it were not merely the ninth or tenth game ever. Final score: 38-6. And Oxford enters the Super Bowl bye week above .500.
To celebrate, the Commas braved the elements with a barbecue in an actual backyard. You know, a backyard--a small plot of grass behind a house. There was drinking afoot. Life was declared to be good.
And now for the highlights (there are a ton, thanks to Gina):
Kari makes the quick catch and stays on her feet.
The ShamWows attempt a handoff.
Daniel, did you catch this? I can't tell. If you did, it was because it was such a great throw, right?
One of the weirdest non-calls of the year: the safety knocks Jon to the ground and intercepts the deep pass. Jon would have his revenge by picking off the ball on the very next play.
Daniel's Super Glue wears off, but he still makes the catch.
Matt makes the tough catch in traffic.
A floater to Alex is picked off. Wow, Gina, I'm really glad you were there to get every interception on video. Good times.
The zone defense clamps down.
Jon dives in front of a pass to prevent a touchdown.
Matt swats it to the ground.
Kari, Elyse, and Brian force the ShamWows QB to slide to nowhere.
Post-game handshake.
Brian gets himself suspended from the team for sexual harassment.
The post-game pep talk involves directions to Pathmark.
According to tradition, the game is followed by a dramatic reading of Kafka's "The Metamorphosis".
If you stand close enough to the grill to singe your clothes, you hardly notice that it's twenty-six degrees out.
The intervention.
One more highlight:
The Commas faced a spirited team thrown together by the whims of the Zog Gods. For once, Oxford was the experienced unit, driving downfield with early scores by Matt and Brian (actually, he had two by halftime, three total, along with a conversion). There was a brief scare when the ShamWows returned an interception to make the game 12-6. But the Commas new zone defense, installed by Daniel, held the ShamWows to zero points. They even managed to get a touchdown themselves when Daniel picked off a short pass and ran it in. The offense was able to take its time, scoring multiple TDs to give the team a nice, comfortable lead. As the highlights below demonstrate, everyone pitched in on both sides of the ball. I would call this "classic Commas football" if it were not merely the ninth or tenth game ever. Final score: 38-6. And Oxford enters the Super Bowl bye week above .500.
To celebrate, the Commas braved the elements with a barbecue in an actual backyard. You know, a backyard--a small plot of grass behind a house. There was drinking afoot. Life was declared to be good.
And now for the highlights (there are a ton, thanks to Gina):
Kari makes the quick catch and stays on her feet.
Jon catches a pass out of the backfield.
A deep pass is nearly intercepted.
Dayne slips one tackle to gain some extra yardage.
Alex pulls it in for a first down.
Matt catches a short pass over the middle...
...and then he follows up with a touchdown from Dayne.
A handoff to Daniel comes up short.
Daniel intercepts a pass and then pays for it with a fat lip.
Dayne drives the Commas closer to the goal line.
Alex makes the catch, but lands out of bounds.
Under pressure, Dayne delivers a touchdown to Brian. No, she was not tagged before she threw the ball. I don't care if you put it in slow motion. Look, stop arguing with me.
Daniel earns fifty push-ups with this one.
The ShamWows capitalize with an interception returned for a touchdown.
A pass to Michelle sails wide.
Alex and the defender bat the ball into the air, but Brian is there to save the day.
Dayne makes the catch, but doesn't quite make it to the endzone.
The ShamWows drive downfield.
The Commas defend against a deep throw.
Halftime adjustments.
The ShamWows sniff out the trick play.
Ash makes the catch.
Brian runs the wrong route. Robert is heard saying, "Brian, you're supposed to be the fullback." Oh, yeah--he scored.
Daniel gets up high to score the conversion.
Brian bobbles a hard pass, but holds on for the reception.
A softer pass for Brian's delicate hands.
Dayne to Alex. Look, he can play football in his jeans if he wants to, okay? He's from California--give him a break.
A pass to Ash in the endzone is too high. If she had been in heels, she would have caught it.
Daniel applies Super Glue to his hands at halftime, with positive results.
The ShamWows QB eludes the Commas defense.
A throw to Elyse sails too high, and right into the hands of a ShamWows linebacker.
Kari and Michelle hunt down the ShamWows QB.
The ShamWows attempt a handoff.
Daniel, did you catch this? I can't tell. If you did, it was because it was such a great throw, right?
One of the weirdest non-calls of the year: the safety knocks Jon to the ground and intercepts the deep pass. Jon would have his revenge by picking off the ball on the very next play.
Daniel's Super Glue wears off, but he still makes the catch.
Matt makes the tough catch in traffic.
A floater to Alex is picked off. Wow, Gina, I'm really glad you were there to get every interception on video. Good times.
The zone defense clamps down.
Jon dives in front of a pass to prevent a touchdown.
Matt swats it to the ground.
Kari, Elyse, and Brian force the ShamWows QB to slide to nowhere.
Post-game handshake.
Brian gets himself suspended from the team for sexual harassment.
The post-game pep talk involves directions to Pathmark.
According to tradition, the game is followed by a dramatic reading of Kafka's "The Metamorphosis".
If you stand close enough to the grill to singe your clothes, you hardly notice that it's twenty-six degrees out.
The intervention.
One more highlight:
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Commas Win Streak Ends at One
The upstart Commas fell to earth with a thud on Sunday, losing to Hot Route 44-8 (I think). Unable to break through the stifling zone defense, Oxford tried to go over it with some deep passes. But they spent the entire first half frustrated, unable to even get close to Hot Route's endzone. Still, the Commas defense kept the game competitive, and the team went into halftime down 14-0. Interceptions by Iain and Jestin (another mercenary) in the endzone saved the Commas from total annihilation.
But this only seemed to anger the Hot Route people, because they came out with their guns blazing in the second half. The only response the Commas could muster, in between many dumb interceptions, was a long touchdown pass to Daniel. Before they knew what hit them, the Commas were down by more points than they could count. Oxford did achieve a brief highlight with an interception return on a two point conversion, but the game was out of reach by a longshot by then.
And, in a special edition of "This Week in Douchebag History", Hot Route called a timeout with two seconds left in an attempt to pad their 30+ point lead. When asked why, the QB responded, "You pay to play", which I suppose means that rhyming makes up for anything. You see, folks, this is what happens when you can't get laid.
(Okay, they weren't all bad--some of them played a pickup game with us afterward.)
The Commas retreated to the warmth of the Black Sheep tavern to watch another band of heroes fall in battle. Oh, well--at least Obama is the President now.
Enjoy the few highlights that we have. Next week, win or lose, the Commas hold a barbecue feast in Daniel's backyard(!) in defiance of the miserable weather.
The Commas defense tries to stop a touchdown.
Dayne drops back and throws a touchdown.
(Oh, did that video end before the touchdown was played? Hmmm. How unfortunate. I assure you we scored.)
Brian catches a quick pass over the middle.
I've watched this next video about six hundred times, and it keeps getting better.
In other news, members of the Commas coaching staff had some emotional statements following the game. Meanwhile, Oxford QB Jim Everett did not react well to criticism from the media. Could be long season, so thank god for bbq.
Monday, January 12, 2009
COMMAS WIN!
The curse is over. Here is how it happened.
The Commas entered the 2009 season with a few questions. Chief among them was, "Winter football? Are you f--king serious? It's cold out there!" But, thanks to arm-twisting, peer pressure, office politics, guilt trips, and the unrelenting scrutiny of a mass email, the Commas decided to suit up for Winter '09.
Their first opponent was Heisman and Women, a team new to ZogLand. The Commas, grizzled veterans of the so-called "casual" league, looked upon the Heismans and caught a glimpse of their own shattered innocence.
The Commas started the game with a drive that went deep into Heisman territory before a dumb interception turned the ball over. Oxford got it back thanks to another pick, and eventually scored on a deep strike to the rookie, Alex, in the right corner of the end zone. Throughout the half, the defense held the Heismans thanks to some tight coverage and another pick by Matt. Later, the Commas were able to connect on a short touchdown to "The Mercenary", Dan Gonz. (There may have been a slight push-off by Dan to get open, but you can't prove anything.) As the half ended, the Heismans tried to bomb their way into the endzone, but time expired with Oxford holding its first halftime lead in franchise history, 12-0.
Despite the good start, the Commas could not find a way to score for most of the second half. Their best chance was a fade route to Daniel in the back of the endzone, but the referees called it out of bounds after a long conference. (Imagine me pretending to cough while actually saying the word "Bullshit".) Then, the Heismans started a clock-eating drive that came close to scoring before Daniel, making up for an earlier drop, stepped in front of a pass and took it in for the touchdown, giving the Commas a comfortable lead at 18-0. The Heismans kept fighting, adding a touchdown of their own, but Oxford was able to score on a short route to Jon and deep strike to Daniel to put the game out of reach, 30-6.
It was by far the best effort ever by the Commas, who intercepted five passes in all. (Daniel and Alex added two more before the game was finished.) Meanwhile, every receiver had at least two receptions, despite the numbingly cold weather. Also, thanks to the rules of ZogLand, Dayne, Ash, and Kari had to play without a break as if it were 70 degrees out. (Before the Recession was made official, that meant that we owed them drinks. Now they just get a mention on the blog.)
Following the game, the Commas tried to talk the Heismans out of going to the douchebag Zog bar, but, since they seemed like nice people, the Heismans went anyway. We tried. At the unofficial Oxford bar, the Commas had to sit in silence while the New York fans watched their beloved Giants fall to a certain underdog team that shall remain nameless for fear of jinxing them. It was hard to feel sorry for the Giants fans since they were sitting inside, all warm and cozy, while some people were out braving the elements.
Before we get to the highlight reel, please keep in mind that we need some more ideas for goal-line plays. 0-5 on the conversions? That's not Commas football! Of course, that's because we almost never score five touchdowns in one game. Whatever. Suggestions are welcome.
Thanks go to Gina for filming the following clips:
A catch by Dayne, a long bomb to Iain, and then a TD grab by Alex.
Daniel pressures the quarterback, drawing the blocking penalty. Yes, we play in a league that does not allow blocking. Shut up.
Heisman's QB rushes on fourth down, but Matt catches her before she reaches the first down marker.
The Commas work the short passes, with completions to Kari and Daniel.
Robert escapes the rush and dumps the ball to Dayne, who is then gently tackled by the defense.
The Commas march downfield. Daniel catches a short pass, then Dayne hits Iain over the middle. Finally, Kari catches a ball before dropping to the ground in the fetal position. Remember kids: protect the ball!
The ball bounces out of the hands of Alex, Iain, and Ashley.
A pass goes awry. Somehow, Robert misses a wide-open Iain, despite the Scotsman's blazing yellow shirt.
Halftime conference: a convergence of great minds.
And finally, Ahnold reminds us all why we should bundle up this winter here.
The Commas entered the 2009 season with a few questions. Chief among them was, "Winter football? Are you f--king serious? It's cold out there!" But, thanks to arm-twisting, peer pressure, office politics, guilt trips, and the unrelenting scrutiny of a mass email, the Commas decided to suit up for Winter '09.
Their first opponent was Heisman and Women, a team new to ZogLand. The Commas, grizzled veterans of the so-called "casual" league, looked upon the Heismans and caught a glimpse of their own shattered innocence.
The Commas started the game with a drive that went deep into Heisman territory before a dumb interception turned the ball over. Oxford got it back thanks to another pick, and eventually scored on a deep strike to the rookie, Alex, in the right corner of the end zone. Throughout the half, the defense held the Heismans thanks to some tight coverage and another pick by Matt. Later, the Commas were able to connect on a short touchdown to "The Mercenary", Dan Gonz. (There may have been a slight push-off by Dan to get open, but you can't prove anything.) As the half ended, the Heismans tried to bomb their way into the endzone, but time expired with Oxford holding its first halftime lead in franchise history, 12-0.
Despite the good start, the Commas could not find a way to score for most of the second half. Their best chance was a fade route to Daniel in the back of the endzone, but the referees called it out of bounds after a long conference. (Imagine me pretending to cough while actually saying the word "Bullshit".) Then, the Heismans started a clock-eating drive that came close to scoring before Daniel, making up for an earlier drop, stepped in front of a pass and took it in for the touchdown, giving the Commas a comfortable lead at 18-0. The Heismans kept fighting, adding a touchdown of their own, but Oxford was able to score on a short route to Jon and deep strike to Daniel to put the game out of reach, 30-6.
It was by far the best effort ever by the Commas, who intercepted five passes in all. (Daniel and Alex added two more before the game was finished.) Meanwhile, every receiver had at least two receptions, despite the numbingly cold weather. Also, thanks to the rules of ZogLand, Dayne, Ash, and Kari had to play without a break as if it were 70 degrees out. (Before the Recession was made official, that meant that we owed them drinks. Now they just get a mention on the blog.)
Following the game, the Commas tried to talk the Heismans out of going to the douchebag Zog bar, but, since they seemed like nice people, the Heismans went anyway. We tried. At the unofficial Oxford bar, the Commas had to sit in silence while the New York fans watched their beloved Giants fall to a certain underdog team that shall remain nameless for fear of jinxing them. It was hard to feel sorry for the Giants fans since they were sitting inside, all warm and cozy, while some people were out braving the elements.
Before we get to the highlight reel, please keep in mind that we need some more ideas for goal-line plays. 0-5 on the conversions? That's not Commas football! Of course, that's because we almost never score five touchdowns in one game. Whatever. Suggestions are welcome.
Thanks go to Gina for filming the following clips:
A catch by Dayne, a long bomb to Iain, and then a TD grab by Alex.
Daniel pressures the quarterback, drawing the blocking penalty. Yes, we play in a league that does not allow blocking. Shut up.
Heisman's QB rushes on fourth down, but Matt catches her before she reaches the first down marker.
The Commas work the short passes, with completions to Kari and Daniel.
Robert escapes the rush and dumps the ball to Dayne, who is then gently tackled by the defense.
The Commas march downfield. Daniel catches a short pass, then Dayne hits Iain over the middle. Finally, Kari catches a ball before dropping to the ground in the fetal position. Remember kids: protect the ball!
The ball bounces out of the hands of Alex, Iain, and Ashley.
A pass goes awry. Somehow, Robert misses a wide-open Iain, despite the Scotsman's blazing yellow shirt.
Halftime conference: a convergence of great minds.
Free agent acquisition Daniel saves the day on a prancing interception return for a touchdown. Now his agent is asking for a new contract, a bigger locker, and the option of skipping practice to work on his music career. Un-friggin-believable.
A two-point conversion fails when a pass to Jon is batted away. Robert's brilliant assessment: "Conversions are hard. If we had two chances at the conversions, then..."
On the sidelines, the Commas react to Alex's interception late in the game.
And finally, Ahnold reminds us all why we should bundle up this winter here.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Commas 2008 Season (Cue the Green Day Song)
Click to enlarge the following photos:
Photo credits go to Lora and Kari.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Commas Close Season with a Dogfight
The Commas were given the task of playing spoiler to Los Touchitos ("Little Touchers"), a team that had to win in order to get into the playoffs. Fighting through picks and some weirdly rough tackles, Oxford began the game with a long drive that couldn't quite get into the endzone. Ebin set the tone by shrugging aside the guy who, frustrated by his inability to get laid, shoved Ebin out of bounds on one of the first plays of the game. In response, the Touchers, easily the mouthiest team in the league, scored two unanswered touchdowns. A deep pass to Brian late in the first half looked like it could even the playing field, but again the Commas were denied on the one-yard line, and the half ended with Oxford down by 14. It was not until late in the second half when the Commas finally punched through on the "Gonzo" play to Iain. Then Ben, playing with a pin in his broken finger, scored on a two-point conversion at the back of the endzone. There was little the Commas could do at that point, though. The Touchers immediately answered with a long touchdown bomb, putting them outside of the 16-point range that would have forced the clock to stop on each incomplete pass. Oxford had to watch as Los Touchitos drained the clock. Happily, the Commas stopped them on the last play of the game when Sam sacked their quarterback. Final score: 26-8.
My final word on the season is this: the sportsmanship, hustle, and good humor that this team showed should make everyone proud. That was the consensus while the Commas, tipsy on Shock Top, contemplated the sequel, a.k.a. the Winter League. It's still up in the air, but hopefully this will not be the final chapter.
Special thanks go to our fans, Tim, Tanya, Kari, Catherine, and Jared. They took some great photos and videos, which you can view here below. (Some of the other photos will appear in another post.)
http://picasaweb.google.com/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/
Here are the other highlights. Enjoy.
Ash takes a cleat to the head, but holds on:
The camera crew debates the difference between a center and a quarterback. Meanwhile, the ball is thrown away.
Sam with the catch:
Ben chats up the fans on the sideline. He was later seen texting in the huddle. You believe this guy? Oh yeah, the pass sailed wide.
QB sneak:
Ash with the diving reception:
Oxford is denied again at the goal line.
"Skip this part. In fact, never show it again"--Dark Helmet, Spaceballs
The biggest "Little Toucher" bats the ball away:
Desperation throw to Ben in the back of the endzone--incomplete.
Ebin makes a lunging tackle:
Dayne throws:
Matt moonwalks:
Deep to Matt, but thrown too far:
Dayne to Iain for one of the biggest plays of the day:
Dayne to Ben over the middle:
Is there pass intereference on Ben in this play? Robert DeNiro says, "Little bit, little bit."
Shovel pass to Iain for an easy (cheap) first down:
A throw into heavy traffic is broken up by the "Little Touchers" defense. Elyse, Ben, and Dayne all get a hand on it:
The Commas finally connect on a TD to Iain:
Ben scores on the conversion by toeing the back of the endzone:
Sam's hair is messed up on a short pass:
Ninell dives for it:
Brian, be honest: did this hit you in the hands? If it did, you're gonna run wind sprints until you puke.
The Commas never make anything look easy:
Ebin runs right into your living room. Or should I say cubicle? Hey, get back to work!
Dayne to Robert:
Iain beats a growling defender for the catch:
Deep to Brian:
Robert and Ebin try to reenact "The Catch" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Catch_(American_football), but it's not to be:
Thursday, November 6, 2008
The Warmup
On Sunday, the Commas incurred the wrath of the Swingers, a team that was much better than its losing record would suggest--more on that in a minute. It turns out that opening a must-win game with two straight interceptions is not a good idea. Who knew? As a result, the Commas found themselves down 20-0 with time running out in the first half. The Swingers employed a confounding zone defense that allowed Oxford to get close to the endzone, but stopped them cold over and over. In response, the Commas began firing the ball downfield in an attempt to break through, and finally connected with Brian on a long touchdown bomb.
The Swingers, using a quarterback with a howitzer-strength arm and several speedy receivers, piled on more points while the Commas pulled out every trick play they could think of to catch up. On a desperation play late in the game, Iain pulled off the catch of the season when he grabbed a ball that was thrown short. He had to contort his body to make the catch while keeping his feet in bounds for the score. (It was actually a good day for all of the receivers; there were only a few drops, and everyone made a solid contribution on the designed plays.) Brian added the two point conversion on the next play, but by then the game was over. The Swingers added another touchdown to make the score 44-14.
As the Commas packed up, they got to see the Swingers remove their gold jerseys and put on gray ones so that they could play a game in the competitive league. "Were we the warmup?" someone asked. Perhaps, but I'll bet those Swingers were really tired out for their real game. Right? Anyone? Oh, god...
Thanks go to Ebin for taking some photos, which you can see here.
The Swingers, using a quarterback with a howitzer-strength arm and several speedy receivers, piled on more points while the Commas pulled out every trick play they could think of to catch up. On a desperation play late in the game, Iain pulled off the catch of the season when he grabbed a ball that was thrown short. He had to contort his body to make the catch while keeping his feet in bounds for the score. (It was actually a good day for all of the receivers; there were only a few drops, and everyone made a solid contribution on the designed plays.) Brian added the two point conversion on the next play, but by then the game was over. The Swingers added another touchdown to make the score 44-14.
As the Commas packed up, they got to see the Swingers remove their gold jerseys and put on gray ones so that they could play a game in the competitive league. "Were we the warmup?" someone asked. Perhaps, but I'll bet those Swingers were really tired out for their real game. Right? Anyone? Oh, god...
Thanks go to Ebin for taking some photos, which you can see here.
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