Winter Commas Stay Undefeated

We're at it again, defying a New York winter in the shadow of the new (but somehow rusty) Brooklyn Nets stadium. Playing in the cold may be aging us prematurely, but it makes the dreary months go by more quickly. And it gets us laid. Well, some of us. I'm typing this on a Friday night with a bottle of Gato Negro cab/merlot mix nearby.

We started with a wacko game against a team called Purple Haze. Their uniforms reminded me of the Joker's costume, and the field had a new setup in order to conform to the International Zog Federation's official rules or something. Anyway, the Commas played a complete game, scoring on every drive except for one that ended on an interception that was totally Dan's fault. But Jane, Paul, Daniel, and Max scored, Jessica had a crazy circus catch, and Iain had a conversion despite suffering what turned out to be a season-ending injury. Commas win 28-0.



The Commas defend against a deep throw.

In Week 2, Oxford faced the Closers, the team of educators from the winter playoffs in 2012. The shorthanded Commas had to go with only eight players, and some noobies on defense (okay, me) gave up a few touchdowns in the first half. But eventually the Commas pulled away, thanks to an avalanche of touchdowns by Max. Ashley, Molly "The Icepick", and Matt T. scored as well. In the end, Oxford prevailed in a defense-optional game, 57-36.



Don't make me say it again: YOU CAN BLITZ ON A HANDOFF!

Game 3 against the Frozen Pumpkins turned out to be one of the most exciting and dramatic in the history of the Commas. The Pumpkins won their division championship in the fall, and were made up of players from several teams. Anyway, the Commas jumped out to an early lead, thanks to two huge touchdowns by Jon. They went in at halftime with a 21-6 lead. But then all hell broke loose in the second half. The Pumpkins' QB, upset by an off-sides penalty against Oxford, responded by kicking (like a girl) our star player, Jon. Then Dan responded by shoving the QB. Then a brawl nearly broke out. Then, in the chaos, the refs put Dan in a penalty box, and the Commas were down to five women and three men. The Pumpkins came roaring back and took the lead. Oxford scored again and then had a chance to run the clock down. But when they turned the ball over on downs, the Pumpkins again took the lead with ninety seconds to go. The Commas began a long drive that ended with Jane scoring the winning touchdown with two seconds left on the clock. (Jane, I was going to pretend I didn't remember who scored just to get your goat.) Anyway, the Pumpkins tried one last-ditch play, but it fell short. Oxford squeaks by 33-29.

Week 4's game was against a team that I was hoping would call itself the Sweet Browns; instead, they were just Da Browns. Fair enough. In the coldest game of the year, they proved to be a formidable bunch. After Oxford took the lead with a score to Jane and a conversion for Jon, Da Browns kept Oxford from scoring again until a second half touchdown to Jenny--her first as a Comma. Later, Da Browns tied the game at 13, and Oxford once again had to march downfield in the closing seconds. Jon was able to leap for a deep pass into the endzone, and it looked like the Commas would steal another victory. But then Da Browns mounted their own last-second drive to tie the game again at 19. With 22 seconds left, the Commas managed to reach Da Browns' ten yard line, but time expired before Oxford could score again. The game ended in a much-dreaded tie. What is this, soccer? (And no, Donovan McNabb, there is no overtime.) A wise man once said: it's like kissin' your sister.

Still, this is the strongest start ever for Oxford, and they are going into the stretch run against the best teams in the league and the worst weather of the year. At least there won't be a blackout, unlike certain, less classy venues. To prepare, you should have a beer and watch the Inspirational Football Clip of the Week. Week 5 is the Nemo Game!