COMMAS WIN!

The curse is over. Here is how it happened.

The Commas entered the 2009 season with a few questions. Chief among them was, "Winter football? Are you f--king serious? It's cold out there!" But, thanks to arm-twisting, peer pressure, office politics, guilt trips, and the unrelenting scrutiny of a mass email, the Commas decided to suit up for Winter '09.

Their first opponent was Heisman and Women, a team new to ZogLand. The Commas, grizzled veterans of the so-called "casual" league, looked upon the Heismans and caught a glimpse of their own shattered innocence.

The Commas started the game with a drive that went deep into Heisman territory before a dumb interception turned the ball over. Oxford got it back thanks to another pick, and eventually scored on a deep strike to the rookie, Alex, in the right corner of the end zone. Throughout the half, the defense held the Heismans thanks to some tight coverage and another pick by Matt. Later, the Commas were able to connect on a short touchdown to "The Mercenary", Dan Gonz. (There may have been a slight push-off by Dan to get open, but you can't prove anything.) As the half ended, the Heismans tried to bomb their way into the endzone, but time expired with Oxford holding its first halftime lead in franchise history, 12-0.

Despite the good start, the Commas could not find a way to score for most of the second half. Their best chance was a fade route to Daniel in the back of the endzone, but the referees called it out of bounds after a long conference. (Imagine me pretending to cough while actually saying the word "Bullshit".) Then, the Heismans started a clock-eating drive that came close to scoring before Daniel, making up for an earlier drop, stepped in front of a pass and took it in for the touchdown, giving the Commas a comfortable lead at 18-0. The Heismans kept fighting, adding a touchdown of their own, but Oxford was able to score on a short route to Jon and deep strike to Daniel to put the game out of reach, 30-6.

It was by far the best effort ever by the Commas, who intercepted five passes in all. (Daniel and Alex added two more before the game was finished.) Meanwhile, every receiver had at least two receptions, despite the numbingly cold weather. Also, thanks to the rules of ZogLand, Dayne, Ash, and Kari had to play without a break as if it were 70 degrees out. (Before the Recession was made official, that meant that we owed them drinks. Now they just get a mention on the blog.)

Following the game, the Commas tried to talk the Heismans out of going to the douchebag Zog bar, but, since they seemed like nice people, the Heismans went anyway. We tried. At the unofficial Oxford bar, the Commas had to sit in silence while the New York fans watched their beloved Giants fall to a certain underdog team that shall remain nameless for fear of jinxing them. It was hard to feel sorry for the Giants fans since they were sitting inside, all warm and cozy, while some people were out braving the elements.

Before we get to the highlight reel, please keep in mind that we need some more ideas for goal-line plays. 0-5 on the conversions? That's not Commas football! Of course, that's because we almost never score five touchdowns in one game. Whatever. Suggestions are welcome.

Thanks go to Gina for filming the following clips:

A catch by Dayne, a long bomb to Iain, and then a TD grab by Alex.



Daniel pressures the quarterback, drawing the blocking penalty. Yes, we play in a league that does not allow blocking. Shut up.




Heisman's QB rushes on fourth down, but Matt catches her before she reaches the first down marker.




The Commas work the short passes, with completions to Kari and Daniel.




Robert escapes the rush and dumps the ball to Dayne, who is then gently tackled by the defense.




The Commas march downfield. Daniel catches a short pass, then Dayne hits Iain over the middle. Finally, Kari catches a ball before dropping to the ground in the fetal position. Remember kids: protect the ball!




The ball bounces out of the hands of Alex, Iain, and Ashley.





A pass goes awry. Somehow, Robert misses a wide-open Iain, despite the Scotsman's blazing yellow shirt.




Halftime conference: a convergence of great minds.

Free agent acquisition Daniel saves the day on a prancing interception return for a touchdown. Now his agent is asking for a new contract, a bigger locker, and the option of skipping practice to work on his music career. Un-friggin-believable.

A two-point conversion fails when a pass to Jon is batted away. Robert's brilliant assessment: "Conversions are hard. If we had two chances at the conversions, then..."

On the sidelines, the Commas react to Alex's interception late in the game.

And finally, Ahnold reminds us all why we should bundle up this winter here.