The Commas faced a spirited team thrown together by the whims of the Zog Gods. For once, Oxford was the experienced unit, driving downfield with early scores by Matt and Brian (actually, he had two by halftime, three total, along with a conversion). There was a brief scare when the ShamWows returned an interception to make the game 12-6. But the Commas new zone defense, installed by Daniel, held the ShamWows to zero points. They even managed to get a touchdown themselves when Daniel picked off a short pass and ran it in. The offense was able to take its time, scoring multiple TDs to give the team a nice, comfortable lead. As the highlights below demonstrate, everyone pitched in on both sides of the ball. I would call this "classic Commas football" if it were not merely the ninth or tenth game ever. Final score: 38-6. And Oxford enters the Super Bowl bye week above .500.
To celebrate, the Commas braved the elements with a barbecue in an actual backyard. You know, a backyard--a small plot of grass behind a house. There was drinking afoot. Life was declared to be good.
And now for the highlights (there are a ton, thanks to Gina):
Kari makes the quick catch and stays on her feet.
Jon catches a pass out of the backfield.
A deep pass is nearly intercepted.
Dayne slips one tackle to gain some extra yardage.
Alex pulls it in for a first down.
Matt catches a short pass over the middle...
...and then he follows up with a touchdown from Dayne.
A handoff to Daniel comes up short.
Daniel intercepts a pass and then pays for it with a fat lip.
Dayne drives the Commas closer to the goal line.
Alex makes the catch, but lands out of bounds.
Under pressure, Dayne delivers a touchdown to Brian. No, she was not tagged before she threw the ball. I don't care if you put it in slow motion. Look, stop arguing with me.
Daniel earns fifty push-ups with this one.
The ShamWows capitalize with an interception returned for a touchdown.
A pass to Michelle sails wide.
Alex and the defender bat the ball into the air, but Brian is there to save the day.
Dayne makes the catch, but doesn't quite make it to the endzone.
The ShamWows drive downfield.
The Commas defend against a deep throw.
Halftime adjustments.
The ShamWows sniff out the trick play.
Ash makes the catch.
Brian runs the wrong route. Robert is heard saying, "Brian, you're supposed to be the fullback." Oh, yeah--he scored.
Daniel gets up high to score the conversion.
Brian bobbles a hard pass, but holds on for the reception.
A softer pass for Brian's delicate hands.
Dayne to Alex. Look, he can play football in his jeans if he wants to, okay? He's from California--give him a break.
A pass to Ash in the endzone is too high. If she had been in heels, she would have caught it.
Daniel applies Super Glue to his hands at halftime, with positive results.
The ShamWows QB eludes the Commas defense.
A throw to Elyse sails too high, and right into the hands of a ShamWows linebacker.
Kari and Michelle hunt down the ShamWows QB.
The ShamWows attempt a handoff.
Daniel, did you catch this? I can't tell. If you did, it was because it was such a great throw, right?
One of the weirdest non-calls of the year: the safety knocks Jon to the ground and intercepts the deep pass. Jon would have his revenge by picking off the ball on the very next play.
Daniel's Super Glue wears off, but he still makes the catch.
Matt makes the tough catch in traffic.
A floater to Alex is picked off. Wow, Gina, I'm really glad you were there to get every interception on video. Good times.
The zone defense clamps down.
Jon dives in front of a pass to prevent a touchdown.
Matt swats it to the ground.
Kari, Elyse, and Brian force the ShamWows QB to slide to nowhere.
Post-game handshake.
Brian gets himself suspended from the team for sexual harassment.
The post-game pep talk involves directions to Pathmark.
According to tradition, the game is followed by a dramatic reading of Kafka's "The Metamorphosis".
If you stand close enough to the grill to singe your clothes, you hardly notice that it's twenty-six degrees out.
The intervention.
One more highlight:
4 comments:
I WILL chase you, QB... right into the ref's shins.
Dem's a lotta videos.
When did the Kaufka reading happen? And I love how we post enough videos for the other teams to not even need a scout! ha! Or is Gina the scout? I'll have my lawyer look into Alex and Gina's possible ownership of one of the other teams. Wait! Alex IS my lawyer! Shit!
I know that there are way too many videos here. I couldn't help myself. If the other teams are actually scouting us with this blog, then they really are pathetic people.
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