It Takes Two to Whiskey Tango

Look, if you don't like the puns, then start your own Official Oxford Commas Football blog.

The Commas ran into trouble early against Whiskey Tango, one of the teams that is tied for first in the (so-called) casual league. WT's offense featured a relentless passing attack which forced the Commas to pick their poison: the speed demon, or the Jolly Green Giant, both of whom accounted for almost all of Whiskey Tango's points. It turns out you can't double-cover everyone, and before they knew it, the Commas were down 20-0. Not even a vicious blindside hit on the Jolly Green Giant by team player Elyse could slow them down. (Note: the league office just suspended Elyse for the remainder of the season.)

But there was still hope. Dayne put points on the board with a touchdown pass over the middle to Ashley, who made a leaping catch in traffic for her first score of the year. As was the story for most of the half, Oxford couldn't convert because of the blinding sunlight in the endzone--that's our story, and we're sticking to it. Before the half ended, Oxford completed its longest play of the year on a touchdown bomb to Brian. It was the longest play because of a penalty on the previous down. There is no truth to the rumor that Oxford did this on purpose.

At the start of the second half, Oxford tried to go downfield again, only to be denied. Another deep pass to Brian was a bit off target, and WT was able to get the ball back and score two more times. To add to the problems, Robert pulled off the Bonehead Play of the Year when he managed to simply drop the ball on a routine QB sneak. Luckily, no one caught that on film. Or it got erased, same difference.

Oxford managed to score another touchdown on a tough catch by Brian in the corner of the endzone. Then Dayne scored on the two-point conversion to make the game 34-20. But WT had yet another touchdown in them to put the game out of reach. The Commas tried to score one more time on a deep throw to Michelle, but the Giant's long arms and monstrous hands, which exist only in defiance of God's will, picked off the pass with ease, ending Oxford's last attempt at a touchdown. The game ended on a weird play in which a hard pass ricocheted off of Iain's neck and landed in the hands of Whiskey Tango. Final score: 42-20.

Following the game, the Commas filled up on Shock Top and IPA at Black Sheep, the horror of the "official" Zog bar a distant memory. There, the real high-pressure match took place: JENGA! It has all the strategy of football, only with little wooden blocks!

Before the highlights, Commas Nation should think about the following: There are two games left. With this in mind, assistant Coach Repino, in a move reminiscent of Joe Namath in Super Bowl III, predicted victory on November 2. His fourteen-minute, unprintable rant is now posted in every opposing locker room in the league.

A diving reception for Ebin:

Michelle makes the grab before running out of bounds:

Dayne to Ebin for a first down:

A deep pass for Matt goes out of reach:

More Ebin:

Brian holds on for the completion:

Dan, our mercenary for the day, makes the catch and takes the bump:

Iain versus Mount Jenga. [Note: Be warned, this clip has some offensive language. Iain, I'm sorry for what I say about your mom here. I'm sure she's a lovely person.]

Mount Jenga 1, Dayne 0.

[Special thanks to Kari for filming the game.]