Oxford Commas 12, Nimble Minx 14...in the Second Half

Let's pretend for a moment that the 28-0 run that the Minx had in the first half never happened.

Now that that's out of the way, we can discuss the positives: a shorthanded Commas team fought through injuries and bad weather to hold the Minx to two scores in the second half, even though the Nimbles still were going for blood with the game out of reach. We had timely interceptions by Ben and Michelle (both in the endzone) to go with some big receptions by Brian and Dayne's first touchdown of the year.

In the absence of SportsCenter, football analyst Ben will diagram his TD scamper using the implements of a typical Brooklyn pub:

Sports Cliches Help Ease the Pain of Losing 40-6

The Oxford Commas began their season with a scrimmage against some nameless team. (ZS-BKFB 2? More like WTF!) Yaddah-yaddah-yaddah, one thing led to another. The no-names clearly needed the practice, because they felt the need to score 40 points on us. Do you think they're compensating for something?

Regardless of the final score, we had some outstanding plays, including Brian's performace as free safety, Michelle's concentration on her TD reception, Matt and Justin's playing through injuries, and a few high-pressure catches by Dayne, Ian, Sam, and Ash. We also had Lora "sweeping the leg" of the bad guys' best receiver, which will make him think twice the next time he tries to go over the middle.

To break it all down for us, our resident sports "experts" explain it all ESPN-style:

More Gridiron Glory (And One Photo from a Burger Joint)

A Detailed Description of How the Commas Will Destroy You

So here is the "Pass Tree", which you can see in more detail here. This shows the basic pass routes that receivers run in order to get open. The easiest ones, i.e. the ones that we have already mastered (wink, wink), are:

#1 - Quick Out. Drive out 5 yards then 90 degrees and drift to sidelines. (In one of the videos posted earlier, this is what Sam does before Brian knocks him to the ground.)

#3 - Deep Out. Drive out 10 yards then 90 degrees and drift to sidelines. (There is a video of Justin doing this, but the catch is obscured by a tree. In any event, this was the play where I asked everyone to line up on the left, go deep, and then head for the sideline.)

#4 - Drag Route. Drive out 3 strides then drag on a 45 degree (or 90) angle to the center of the field. (This is actually what Dayne does in her video. She starts on the right, runs downfield, and cuts to the center of the field. I don't throw until she's at the sideline, but better late than never.)

#0 - Quick Hitch Route. Drive out two strides then come back to QB on a 45, establish a wide stance and frame yourself. Wait a minute--I don't even see this on the tree! Whatever. This was the play that Ebin referred to as "Duke", where the person who lined up on the outside ran parallel to the line of scrimmage for a quick pass. Ninell can now do this with her eyes closed. Come to think of it, Lora has already accomplished this feat as well.

#9 - Streak Route (Fly Route). This is usually what I mean when I say "go deep." Keep in mind that veering to the right or left (like #8 or #5) will open you up more than just going in a straight line . Also, if you go deep and the play is still going, run back hard to the quarterback. It's a sure way to get open.

Some plays we should try in our next practice or game are:

#8 - Post Route. Drive out 8 yards, show hand fake and look back at QB, then sprint to deep center of the field; opposite of#5, which goes to the sideline. (This is what what Ebin does perfectly in his video.)

#2 - Slant Route. Drive out 3 strides then slant 45 degrees. This is a timing route, Expect the ball immediatley!

With a little work, we'll be completing plays like this before you know it.

Right, just like that.

The Commas vs. The Stars and Stripes

America celebrated the start of the Commas' season by unfurling the flag:

NFL Films Presents (continued)

Sam gets the Academy Award for Best Tumble After a Routine Reception:

NFL Films Presents

Imagine the deep-voiced John Facenda narrating these heroic films of gridiron warriors.

Here is Dayne scoring by toeing the line:

Ebin scores on a deep route after a stutter-step:

Getting Down to Business

Here is your source of information for the season, cut and pasted from our email conversation:

Scrimmage: Sept. 21^st

Games (estimated): Sept 28, Oct 5, 12, 19, 26, Nov 2

Location: 510 Clermont Avenue (Clermont bet. Fulton St/Harriet Ross Tubman and Atlantic Avenue)

We’ll all find out on Sept 15 what time the scrimmage is going to be, but it’ll be sometime between 12 PM and 5 PM. Please sign the waivers if you haven’t done so already. You’ll need to sign it before scrimmage. You’re all welcome to invite friends to join; they can be added until after the first game. If you’ve had second thoughts and don’t want to receive any football related emails from ZogSports or us, also let us know.

How to Throw a Football, by Ben K.

Welcome to the 2008 season of your Oxford Commas.  Not that we need any tips on anything, but Ben has offered to show the football-impaired (a.k.a. communists) how to throw the pigskin. Watch and learn.