After a long off-season filled with contract squabbles, holdouts, questionable draft picks, and a dog-fighting ring (thanks, Ashley), the Commas regrouped with big expectations for their third season. For their opening scrimmage, they were pitted against a yet-to-be named team of Zog veterans, a squad that would have slaughtered the Commas back when they were just an expansion team. But Oxford held their opponents scoreless for the first few drives, until a couple of bobble-catch TDs put them behind 12-0. Before the half, Oxford put points on the board thanks to a score by Brian. But the team in black answered, making it 18-8.
After halftime, Oxford used the Wildcat offense to put more points on the board, with Jon "The Law" B. hitting Daniel for a long touchdown bomb. The two teams traded scores, but only the Commas could convert the two-pointer, which allowed them to close within 25-22. Later, Oxford was able to force a turnover the red zone, thanks to Elyse's relentless pass rush. But then, a phantom TD on a blown call (see below) allowed the unnamed team to pull ahead for good. Oxford scored again to close the game, but things were out of reach at that point. Final: 38-31.
Still, there are high hopes for Week 1, with Oxford looking to build on its performance in the drive for the playoffs.
What's that, Mr. Fat-Ass NFL Fan? You're stressed because your team signed a dog-killer? You're concerned that your pretty boy quarterback might hurt his knee again? You're worried that a punter might hit the jumbotron at your billion-dollar stadium? Bite me. This is where the real action is.
Photos are here.
And here are the highlights. Thanks, Gina.
Alex in the flat:
Commas denied:
Big play for The Team with No Name, but Iain saves a touchdown:
The bad guys score first:
Almost to Alex:
Good catch by Brian, but he's out of bounds:
Good defense by the Commas, but the ball gets tipped right into the receiver's hands for a score. A jogger is almost killed:
Brian scores:
Daniel catches the two-pointer, cutting the lead to 12-8.
Iain hustles, and almost comes up with the INT:
Big bomb from the bad guys:
Daniel scores after signaling that he's open by yelling, "Oh my god!"
And then he scores the two-pointer again. Commas are down 25-22.
Elyse puts on the pressure, while Jon gets the steal:
Michelle tackles the opposing player, but the call is for a TD anyway.
If that play had taken place in the early 90s, it would have been included in this video:
Gonzo takes the shot, holds on to the ball:
Kari completes a long pass to Daniel:
Monday, September 14, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Comma Drama in the Fight for the Playoffs
Yes, I realize that posting an update for winter football in May is a bit ridiculous. My excuses for procrastinating include a severe bout of the flu (which began during the final game), eye surgery, and basic laziness.
Here is the story: The Commas were above .500 for a brief time before tough losses to The Family and Sexy Coco put them at the edge of the playoff hunt. After some fuzzy math, we realized that a win in our last game, along with a loss by another team, would actually put Oxford into the post season.
With that in mind, Oxford jumped to an early 15-0 lead over Agent Orange in the first half, thanks to touchdowns by Brian and Jon; Daniel scored on the two-point conversion. The Commas defense had the Orange quarterback flustered. He was unable to see over the Jon's long reach, and Oxford may have set a record for the most passes batted down at the line of scrimmage.
In the second half, the Commas offense stalled in the rain. Orange was able to intercept a pass and score with a replacement QB. Later, Oxford was denied at the one-yard line, preventing them from adding to their lead. With about two minutes left, Agent Orange broke through again to make the score 15-14. Then they converted a two-pointer, putting Oxford in a tough spot.
In the closing minute, the Commas rallied for a long drive that required two first down conversions in order to stay alive. But, on fourth down, and with no time left, Agent Orange picked off a pass to seal the win.
As it turned out, the Commas would have been out of luck, anyway. The team that we needed to lose was facing the Heismen, a friendly but winless squad that showed up with only six players. I haven't checked the website, but I'm assuming that the game did not end well for them.
So, the season came to an end sooner than we wanted. I would like to thank everyone for braving the elements, hustling, having a sense of humor, drinking, bringing friends, organizing events around the league (like barbecues and Super Bowl parties), and drinking. Oh, did I say that already? Anyway, I would take an illegal pick for any of you.
Here are the highlights:
Brian scores the first touchdown.
Dayne completes a pass to Brian.
A fake handoff to Daniel almost makes it into the endzone.
Jon with the TD catch--or is he sliding into home?
Dayne catches a pass over the middle.
A pass to Alex barely misses.
Dayne throws to Robert, who is stopped just before the goal line.
Agent Orange picks off a deep throw to Daniel.
The final drive begins, but a deep pass to Brian falls short.
Daniel drives deep into Orange territory.
A fade pattern to Daniel almost scores the winning touchdown.
Dayne keeps the Commas alive with a short completion.
On fourth down, Robert tries to float a pass to Matt, but it is picked off.
Here is the story: The Commas were above .500 for a brief time before tough losses to The Family and Sexy Coco put them at the edge of the playoff hunt. After some fuzzy math, we realized that a win in our last game, along with a loss by another team, would actually put Oxford into the post season.
With that in mind, Oxford jumped to an early 15-0 lead over Agent Orange in the first half, thanks to touchdowns by Brian and Jon; Daniel scored on the two-point conversion. The Commas defense had the Orange quarterback flustered. He was unable to see over the Jon's long reach, and Oxford may have set a record for the most passes batted down at the line of scrimmage.
In the second half, the Commas offense stalled in the rain. Orange was able to intercept a pass and score with a replacement QB. Later, Oxford was denied at the one-yard line, preventing them from adding to their lead. With about two minutes left, Agent Orange broke through again to make the score 15-14. Then they converted a two-pointer, putting Oxford in a tough spot.
In the closing minute, the Commas rallied for a long drive that required two first down conversions in order to stay alive. But, on fourth down, and with no time left, Agent Orange picked off a pass to seal the win.
As it turned out, the Commas would have been out of luck, anyway. The team that we needed to lose was facing the Heismen, a friendly but winless squad that showed up with only six players. I haven't checked the website, but I'm assuming that the game did not end well for them.
So, the season came to an end sooner than we wanted. I would like to thank everyone for braving the elements, hustling, having a sense of humor, drinking, bringing friends, organizing events around the league (like barbecues and Super Bowl parties), and drinking. Oh, did I say that already? Anyway, I would take an illegal pick for any of you.
Here are the highlights:
Brian scores the first touchdown.
Dayne completes a pass to Brian.
A fake handoff to Daniel almost makes it into the endzone.
Jon with the TD catch--or is he sliding into home?
Dayne catches a pass over the middle.
A pass to Alex barely misses.
Dayne throws to Robert, who is stopped just before the goal line.
Agent Orange picks off a deep throw to Daniel.
The final drive begins, but a deep pass to Brian falls short.
Daniel drives deep into Orange territory.
A fade pattern to Daniel almost scores the winning touchdown.
Dayne keeps the Commas alive with a short completion.
On fourth down, Robert tries to float a pass to Matt, but it is picked off.
Monday, February 16, 2009
The Rematch
The long-awaited rematch with the Family (formerly known as the Swingers) took place on Sunday. The Family are notorious for talking trash, although I personally would take that over the passive-aggressive bush league tactics of some of the hipster teams we've faced.
The Commas were missing quarterback Dayne and defensive guru Daniel to "injury" (a.k.a. vacation). To compensate, Elyse stepped in admirably at QB, while Michelle recruited her sister's boyfriend Matt to add some additional help to the lineup.
Surprisingly, the game started as a genuine defensive battle, with both offenses bogging down and the score remaining stuck at 0-0 for several drives. The Family finally scored but failed to convert the extra point. On the very next play, Oxford was able to connect on a deep touchdown to Brian. Jon "The Baron" followed that up with a tough conversion catch to make the score 7-6, but the lead would not last long, as the Family was able to score before halftime. The Commas attempted a deep pass with time expiring, but it was thwarted when several Family members collided with Iain on what the ref described as "incidental contact". Iain was out for the rest of the game. We're told that Katie wants to kick some ass over this.
To start the second half, the Family decided to go for it on fourth and long in their own territory. When they failed to get the first down, Oxford took advantage. It took about ten plays and several disputed calls to move a mere fifteen yards, but Oxford finally managed to retake the lead with a touchdown pass to Brian.
What happened next is a blur to me. Using their super-fast receivers, the Family scored two unanswered touchdowns. The Commas had one last big drive that ended on the Family one-yard line. When it appeared that Oxford had scored on a QB sneak, it turned out that the league rules prohibit any kind of jumping or diving, which pushed the team back a few yards. On the very next play, the Commas failed to complete a pass, and turned the ball over. From then on, Oxford was reduced to throwing desperation passes to score quickly, while the Family ate up the clock. Thanks to a last second touchdown to pad their lead (yes, we faced yet another team that went for it with the game out of reach), the Family prevailed 38-13.
There was some good news, however. The Black Sheep pub had "life-sized" Jenga, i.e. the blocks are actual pieces of wood. Watching one of those towers fall is pretty friggin' cool.
Special thanks to the injured Iain, who provided the highlights below:
The Family goes for it on fourth and long, but turn the ball over on downs. Elyse lofts a pass into the endzone, but the Commas come up empty.
On a disputed call, Brian snags a hard pass in the corner of the endzone. The Family claimed that his feet were in the endzone, but that the ball was not. The video shows otherwise.
Matt reaches for a batted ball on the conversion, but it drops out of bounds.
Elyse makes it look easy.
The Family used some choice four-letter words after Elyse caught another pass over the middle.
A deep throw to Brian salvages a drive that was mired in Oxford territory.
Brian gets to the one-inch line.
Another disputed call, this time involving a lunge into the endzone. ZogSports declares that a player shall not jump or dive to gain yardage, so the touchdown was nullified.
The Commas' last shot at keeping the game close ends with a long scramble and an incomplete pass.
The Commas were missing quarterback Dayne and defensive guru Daniel to "injury" (a.k.a. vacation). To compensate, Elyse stepped in admirably at QB, while Michelle recruited her sister's boyfriend Matt to add some additional help to the lineup.
Surprisingly, the game started as a genuine defensive battle, with both offenses bogging down and the score remaining stuck at 0-0 for several drives. The Family finally scored but failed to convert the extra point. On the very next play, Oxford was able to connect on a deep touchdown to Brian. Jon "The Baron" followed that up with a tough conversion catch to make the score 7-6, but the lead would not last long, as the Family was able to score before halftime. The Commas attempted a deep pass with time expiring, but it was thwarted when several Family members collided with Iain on what the ref described as "incidental contact". Iain was out for the rest of the game. We're told that Katie wants to kick some ass over this.
To start the second half, the Family decided to go for it on fourth and long in their own territory. When they failed to get the first down, Oxford took advantage. It took about ten plays and several disputed calls to move a mere fifteen yards, but Oxford finally managed to retake the lead with a touchdown pass to Brian.
What happened next is a blur to me. Using their super-fast receivers, the Family scored two unanswered touchdowns. The Commas had one last big drive that ended on the Family one-yard line. When it appeared that Oxford had scored on a QB sneak, it turned out that the league rules prohibit any kind of jumping or diving, which pushed the team back a few yards. On the very next play, the Commas failed to complete a pass, and turned the ball over. From then on, Oxford was reduced to throwing desperation passes to score quickly, while the Family ate up the clock. Thanks to a last second touchdown to pad their lead (yes, we faced yet another team that went for it with the game out of reach), the Family prevailed 38-13.
There was some good news, however. The Black Sheep pub had "life-sized" Jenga, i.e. the blocks are actual pieces of wood. Watching one of those towers fall is pretty friggin' cool.
Special thanks to the injured Iain, who provided the highlights below:
The Family goes for it on fourth and long, but turn the ball over on downs. Elyse lofts a pass into the endzone, but the Commas come up empty.
On a disputed call, Brian snags a hard pass in the corner of the endzone. The Family claimed that his feet were in the endzone, but that the ball was not. The video shows otherwise.
Matt reaches for a batted ball on the conversion, but it drops out of bounds.
Elyse makes it look easy.
The Family used some choice four-letter words after Elyse caught another pass over the middle.
A deep throw to Brian salvages a drive that was mired in Oxford territory.
Brian gets to the one-inch line.
Another disputed call, this time involving a lunge into the endzone. ZogSports declares that a player shall not jump or dive to gain yardage, so the touchdown was nullified.
The Commas' last shot at keeping the game close ends with a long scramble and an incomplete pass.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Coco Too Sexy for the Commas
After a two-week hiatus, the Commas began the second half of the season with a tough loss to Sexy Coco, the team formerly known as Sexual Chocolate. I believe that's a Coming to America reference. Anyway, the game began with Oxford's zone defense bending but refusing to break at the goal line, allowing the offense to roar down the field for the first touchdown, a quick strike to Alex over the middle. Coco answered with one of the most amazing plays of the year, an endzone-to-enzone scamper by their lanky superstar player that faked out the entire Commas defense, including those people standing on the sidelines. Sexy Coco put up another touchdown following an Oxford interception, but the Commas put together another drive that ended with a TD for Brian. With the score 13-12, Oxford went for a two-point conversion and got it when Daniel muscled his way past two defenders for the catch (the video doesn't do it justice). After the defense came through with a goal-line intereception Oxford tried for another score on a trick play, but it didn't work.
Perhaps it was their annoying war chant, but Sexy Coco was able to take the lead with some quick touchdowns to start the half. Oxford tried to play catch up, thanks to a tough TD catch by Matt (again, the video doesn't do it justice). After the defense gave the team another chance, the Commas had the ball with about two minutes left, down 33-20. But they were out of time, and the last pass of the game was intercepted by Sexy Coco's freak-of-nature player. Only the smooth taste of Shock Top could soothe the pain.
Special thanks to Tanya for capturing the highlights.
Daniel hangs on.
Dayne to Brian:
Alex puts the Commas in the lead.
The conversion attempt to Matt fails.
A deep pass...doesn't quite make it.
QB sneak.
A close play at the goal line:
A touchdown for Brian.
The Commas take the lead on a two-pointer to Daniel, who boxes out two people for the one-handed grab.
Another sneak.
Alex pulls one in.
Deep pass, take two. Nada.
It's hard to catch a ball when you're getting humped.
Dayne catches and runs.
Iain over the middle.
Brian gets tangled up.
Iain high-stepping.
Matt hangs on for the score.
"Watch Superman!"
Alex, looking good in jeans.
Brian, still wearing the Superman hat he stole from a nine year old.
Another clutch reception for Alex.
The Commas come up empty on the goal line.
Matt gets some love.
On the last drive, the Commas stay alive with a first down reception.
Not to be.
Perhaps it was their annoying war chant, but Sexy Coco was able to take the lead with some quick touchdowns to start the half. Oxford tried to play catch up, thanks to a tough TD catch by Matt (again, the video doesn't do it justice). After the defense gave the team another chance, the Commas had the ball with about two minutes left, down 33-20. But they were out of time, and the last pass of the game was intercepted by Sexy Coco's freak-of-nature player. Only the smooth taste of Shock Top could soothe the pain.
Special thanks to Tanya for capturing the highlights.
Daniel hangs on.
Dayne to Brian:
Alex puts the Commas in the lead.
The conversion attempt to Matt fails.
A deep pass...doesn't quite make it.
QB sneak.
A close play at the goal line:
A touchdown for Brian.
The Commas take the lead on a two-pointer to Daniel, who boxes out two people for the one-handed grab.
Another sneak.
Alex pulls one in.
Deep pass, take two. Nada.
It's hard to catch a ball when you're getting humped.
Dayne catches and runs.
Iain over the middle.
Brian gets tangled up.
Iain high-stepping.
Matt hangs on for the score.
"Watch Superman!"
Alex, looking good in jeans.
Brian, still wearing the Superman hat he stole from a nine year old.
Another clutch reception for Alex.
The Commas come up empty on the goal line.
Matt gets some love.
On the last drive, the Commas stay alive with a first down reception.
Not to be.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Commas Wring Out the ShamWows
For those of you who don't know, this is a ShamWow. It can also be seen here.
The Commas faced a spirited team thrown together by the whims of the Zog Gods. For once, Oxford was the experienced unit, driving downfield with early scores by Matt and Brian (actually, he had two by halftime, three total, along with a conversion). There was a brief scare when the ShamWows returned an interception to make the game 12-6. But the Commas new zone defense, installed by Daniel, held the ShamWows to zero points. They even managed to get a touchdown themselves when Daniel picked off a short pass and ran it in. The offense was able to take its time, scoring multiple TDs to give the team a nice, comfortable lead. As the highlights below demonstrate, everyone pitched in on both sides of the ball. I would call this "classic Commas football" if it were not merely the ninth or tenth game ever. Final score: 38-6. And Oxford enters the Super Bowl bye week above .500.
To celebrate, the Commas braved the elements with a barbecue in an actual backyard. You know, a backyard--a small plot of grass behind a house. There was drinking afoot. Life was declared to be good.
And now for the highlights (there are a ton, thanks to Gina):
Kari makes the quick catch and stays on her feet.
The ShamWows attempt a handoff.
Daniel, did you catch this? I can't tell. If you did, it was because it was such a great throw, right?
One of the weirdest non-calls of the year: the safety knocks Jon to the ground and intercepts the deep pass. Jon would have his revenge by picking off the ball on the very next play.
Daniel's Super Glue wears off, but he still makes the catch.
Matt makes the tough catch in traffic.
A floater to Alex is picked off. Wow, Gina, I'm really glad you were there to get every interception on video. Good times.
The zone defense clamps down.
Jon dives in front of a pass to prevent a touchdown.
Matt swats it to the ground.
Kari, Elyse, and Brian force the ShamWows QB to slide to nowhere.
Post-game handshake.
Brian gets himself suspended from the team for sexual harassment.
The post-game pep talk involves directions to Pathmark.
According to tradition, the game is followed by a dramatic reading of Kafka's "The Metamorphosis".
If you stand close enough to the grill to singe your clothes, you hardly notice that it's twenty-six degrees out.
The intervention.
One more highlight:
The Commas faced a spirited team thrown together by the whims of the Zog Gods. For once, Oxford was the experienced unit, driving downfield with early scores by Matt and Brian (actually, he had two by halftime, three total, along with a conversion). There was a brief scare when the ShamWows returned an interception to make the game 12-6. But the Commas new zone defense, installed by Daniel, held the ShamWows to zero points. They even managed to get a touchdown themselves when Daniel picked off a short pass and ran it in. The offense was able to take its time, scoring multiple TDs to give the team a nice, comfortable lead. As the highlights below demonstrate, everyone pitched in on both sides of the ball. I would call this "classic Commas football" if it were not merely the ninth or tenth game ever. Final score: 38-6. And Oxford enters the Super Bowl bye week above .500.
To celebrate, the Commas braved the elements with a barbecue in an actual backyard. You know, a backyard--a small plot of grass behind a house. There was drinking afoot. Life was declared to be good.
And now for the highlights (there are a ton, thanks to Gina):
Kari makes the quick catch and stays on her feet.
Jon catches a pass out of the backfield.
A deep pass is nearly intercepted.
Dayne slips one tackle to gain some extra yardage.
Alex pulls it in for a first down.
Matt catches a short pass over the middle...
...and then he follows up with a touchdown from Dayne.
A handoff to Daniel comes up short.
Daniel intercepts a pass and then pays for it with a fat lip.
Dayne drives the Commas closer to the goal line.
Alex makes the catch, but lands out of bounds.
Under pressure, Dayne delivers a touchdown to Brian. No, she was not tagged before she threw the ball. I don't care if you put it in slow motion. Look, stop arguing with me.
Daniel earns fifty push-ups with this one.
The ShamWows capitalize with an interception returned for a touchdown.
A pass to Michelle sails wide.
Alex and the defender bat the ball into the air, but Brian is there to save the day.
Dayne makes the catch, but doesn't quite make it to the endzone.
The ShamWows drive downfield.
The Commas defend against a deep throw.
Halftime adjustments.
The ShamWows sniff out the trick play.
Ash makes the catch.
Brian runs the wrong route. Robert is heard saying, "Brian, you're supposed to be the fullback." Oh, yeah--he scored.
Daniel gets up high to score the conversion.
Brian bobbles a hard pass, but holds on for the reception.
A softer pass for Brian's delicate hands.
Dayne to Alex. Look, he can play football in his jeans if he wants to, okay? He's from California--give him a break.
A pass to Ash in the endzone is too high. If she had been in heels, she would have caught it.
Daniel applies Super Glue to his hands at halftime, with positive results.
The ShamWows QB eludes the Commas defense.
A throw to Elyse sails too high, and right into the hands of a ShamWows linebacker.
Kari and Michelle hunt down the ShamWows QB.
The ShamWows attempt a handoff.
Daniel, did you catch this? I can't tell. If you did, it was because it was such a great throw, right?
One of the weirdest non-calls of the year: the safety knocks Jon to the ground and intercepts the deep pass. Jon would have his revenge by picking off the ball on the very next play.
Daniel's Super Glue wears off, but he still makes the catch.
Matt makes the tough catch in traffic.
A floater to Alex is picked off. Wow, Gina, I'm really glad you were there to get every interception on video. Good times.
The zone defense clamps down.
Jon dives in front of a pass to prevent a touchdown.
Matt swats it to the ground.
Kari, Elyse, and Brian force the ShamWows QB to slide to nowhere.
Post-game handshake.
Brian gets himself suspended from the team for sexual harassment.
The post-game pep talk involves directions to Pathmark.
According to tradition, the game is followed by a dramatic reading of Kafka's "The Metamorphosis".
If you stand close enough to the grill to singe your clothes, you hardly notice that it's twenty-six degrees out.
The intervention.
One more highlight:
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Commas Win Streak Ends at One
The upstart Commas fell to earth with a thud on Sunday, losing to Hot Route 44-8 (I think). Unable to break through the stifling zone defense, Oxford tried to go over it with some deep passes. But they spent the entire first half frustrated, unable to even get close to Hot Route's endzone. Still, the Commas defense kept the game competitive, and the team went into halftime down 14-0. Interceptions by Iain and Jestin (another mercenary) in the endzone saved the Commas from total annihilation.
But this only seemed to anger the Hot Route people, because they came out with their guns blazing in the second half. The only response the Commas could muster, in between many dumb interceptions, was a long touchdown pass to Daniel. Before they knew what hit them, the Commas were down by more points than they could count. Oxford did achieve a brief highlight with an interception return on a two point conversion, but the game was out of reach by a longshot by then.
And, in a special edition of "This Week in Douchebag History", Hot Route called a timeout with two seconds left in an attempt to pad their 30+ point lead. When asked why, the QB responded, "You pay to play", which I suppose means that rhyming makes up for anything. You see, folks, this is what happens when you can't get laid.
(Okay, they weren't all bad--some of them played a pickup game with us afterward.)
The Commas retreated to the warmth of the Black Sheep tavern to watch another band of heroes fall in battle. Oh, well--at least Obama is the President now.
Enjoy the few highlights that we have. Next week, win or lose, the Commas hold a barbecue feast in Daniel's backyard(!) in defiance of the miserable weather.
The Commas defense tries to stop a touchdown.
Dayne drops back and throws a touchdown.
(Oh, did that video end before the touchdown was played? Hmmm. How unfortunate. I assure you we scored.)
Brian catches a quick pass over the middle.
I've watched this next video about six hundred times, and it keeps getting better.
In other news, members of the Commas coaching staff had some emotional statements following the game. Meanwhile, Oxford QB Jim Everett did not react well to criticism from the media. Could be long season, so thank god for bbq.
Monday, January 12, 2009
COMMAS WIN!
The curse is over. Here is how it happened.
The Commas entered the 2009 season with a few questions. Chief among them was, "Winter football? Are you f--king serious? It's cold out there!" But, thanks to arm-twisting, peer pressure, office politics, guilt trips, and the unrelenting scrutiny of a mass email, the Commas decided to suit up for Winter '09.
Their first opponent was Heisman and Women, a team new to ZogLand. The Commas, grizzled veterans of the so-called "casual" league, looked upon the Heismans and caught a glimpse of their own shattered innocence.
The Commas started the game with a drive that went deep into Heisman territory before a dumb interception turned the ball over. Oxford got it back thanks to another pick, and eventually scored on a deep strike to the rookie, Alex, in the right corner of the end zone. Throughout the half, the defense held the Heismans thanks to some tight coverage and another pick by Matt. Later, the Commas were able to connect on a short touchdown to "The Mercenary", Dan Gonz. (There may have been a slight push-off by Dan to get open, but you can't prove anything.) As the half ended, the Heismans tried to bomb their way into the endzone, but time expired with Oxford holding its first halftime lead in franchise history, 12-0.
Despite the good start, the Commas could not find a way to score for most of the second half. Their best chance was a fade route to Daniel in the back of the endzone, but the referees called it out of bounds after a long conference. (Imagine me pretending to cough while actually saying the word "Bullshit".) Then, the Heismans started a clock-eating drive that came close to scoring before Daniel, making up for an earlier drop, stepped in front of a pass and took it in for the touchdown, giving the Commas a comfortable lead at 18-0. The Heismans kept fighting, adding a touchdown of their own, but Oxford was able to score on a short route to Jon and deep strike to Daniel to put the game out of reach, 30-6.
It was by far the best effort ever by the Commas, who intercepted five passes in all. (Daniel and Alex added two more before the game was finished.) Meanwhile, every receiver had at least two receptions, despite the numbingly cold weather. Also, thanks to the rules of ZogLand, Dayne, Ash, and Kari had to play without a break as if it were 70 degrees out. (Before the Recession was made official, that meant that we owed them drinks. Now they just get a mention on the blog.)
Following the game, the Commas tried to talk the Heismans out of going to the douchebag Zog bar, but, since they seemed like nice people, the Heismans went anyway. We tried. At the unofficial Oxford bar, the Commas had to sit in silence while the New York fans watched their beloved Giants fall to a certain underdog team that shall remain nameless for fear of jinxing them. It was hard to feel sorry for the Giants fans since they were sitting inside, all warm and cozy, while some people were out braving the elements.
Before we get to the highlight reel, please keep in mind that we need some more ideas for goal-line plays. 0-5 on the conversions? That's not Commas football! Of course, that's because we almost never score five touchdowns in one game. Whatever. Suggestions are welcome.
Thanks go to Gina for filming the following clips:
A catch by Dayne, a long bomb to Iain, and then a TD grab by Alex.
Daniel pressures the quarterback, drawing the blocking penalty. Yes, we play in a league that does not allow blocking. Shut up.
Heisman's QB rushes on fourth down, but Matt catches her before she reaches the first down marker.
The Commas work the short passes, with completions to Kari and Daniel.
Robert escapes the rush and dumps the ball to Dayne, who is then gently tackled by the defense.
The Commas march downfield. Daniel catches a short pass, then Dayne hits Iain over the middle. Finally, Kari catches a ball before dropping to the ground in the fetal position. Remember kids: protect the ball!
The ball bounces out of the hands of Alex, Iain, and Ashley.
A pass goes awry. Somehow, Robert misses a wide-open Iain, despite the Scotsman's blazing yellow shirt.
Halftime conference: a convergence of great minds.
And finally, Ahnold reminds us all why we should bundle up this winter here.
The Commas entered the 2009 season with a few questions. Chief among them was, "Winter football? Are you f--king serious? It's cold out there!" But, thanks to arm-twisting, peer pressure, office politics, guilt trips, and the unrelenting scrutiny of a mass email, the Commas decided to suit up for Winter '09.
Their first opponent was Heisman and Women, a team new to ZogLand. The Commas, grizzled veterans of the so-called "casual" league, looked upon the Heismans and caught a glimpse of their own shattered innocence.
The Commas started the game with a drive that went deep into Heisman territory before a dumb interception turned the ball over. Oxford got it back thanks to another pick, and eventually scored on a deep strike to the rookie, Alex, in the right corner of the end zone. Throughout the half, the defense held the Heismans thanks to some tight coverage and another pick by Matt. Later, the Commas were able to connect on a short touchdown to "The Mercenary", Dan Gonz. (There may have been a slight push-off by Dan to get open, but you can't prove anything.) As the half ended, the Heismans tried to bomb their way into the endzone, but time expired with Oxford holding its first halftime lead in franchise history, 12-0.
Despite the good start, the Commas could not find a way to score for most of the second half. Their best chance was a fade route to Daniel in the back of the endzone, but the referees called it out of bounds after a long conference. (Imagine me pretending to cough while actually saying the word "Bullshit".) Then, the Heismans started a clock-eating drive that came close to scoring before Daniel, making up for an earlier drop, stepped in front of a pass and took it in for the touchdown, giving the Commas a comfortable lead at 18-0. The Heismans kept fighting, adding a touchdown of their own, but Oxford was able to score on a short route to Jon and deep strike to Daniel to put the game out of reach, 30-6.
It was by far the best effort ever by the Commas, who intercepted five passes in all. (Daniel and Alex added two more before the game was finished.) Meanwhile, every receiver had at least two receptions, despite the numbingly cold weather. Also, thanks to the rules of ZogLand, Dayne, Ash, and Kari had to play without a break as if it were 70 degrees out. (Before the Recession was made official, that meant that we owed them drinks. Now they just get a mention on the blog.)
Following the game, the Commas tried to talk the Heismans out of going to the douchebag Zog bar, but, since they seemed like nice people, the Heismans went anyway. We tried. At the unofficial Oxford bar, the Commas had to sit in silence while the New York fans watched their beloved Giants fall to a certain underdog team that shall remain nameless for fear of jinxing them. It was hard to feel sorry for the Giants fans since they were sitting inside, all warm and cozy, while some people were out braving the elements.
Before we get to the highlight reel, please keep in mind that we need some more ideas for goal-line plays. 0-5 on the conversions? That's not Commas football! Of course, that's because we almost never score five touchdowns in one game. Whatever. Suggestions are welcome.
Thanks go to Gina for filming the following clips:
A catch by Dayne, a long bomb to Iain, and then a TD grab by Alex.
Daniel pressures the quarterback, drawing the blocking penalty. Yes, we play in a league that does not allow blocking. Shut up.
Heisman's QB rushes on fourth down, but Matt catches her before she reaches the first down marker.
The Commas work the short passes, with completions to Kari and Daniel.
Robert escapes the rush and dumps the ball to Dayne, who is then gently tackled by the defense.
The Commas march downfield. Daniel catches a short pass, then Dayne hits Iain over the middle. Finally, Kari catches a ball before dropping to the ground in the fetal position. Remember kids: protect the ball!
The ball bounces out of the hands of Alex, Iain, and Ashley.
A pass goes awry. Somehow, Robert misses a wide-open Iain, despite the Scotsman's blazing yellow shirt.
Halftime conference: a convergence of great minds.
Free agent acquisition Daniel saves the day on a prancing interception return for a touchdown. Now his agent is asking for a new contract, a bigger locker, and the option of skipping practice to work on his music career. Un-friggin-believable.
A two-point conversion fails when a pass to Jon is batted away. Robert's brilliant assessment: "Conversions are hard. If we had two chances at the conversions, then..."
On the sidelines, the Commas react to Alex's interception late in the game.
And finally, Ahnold reminds us all why we should bundle up this winter here.
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